Hard things are hard

And how I make them easier

I saw a story in the New York Post this week – a young woman claiming her cat was trying to tell her she had breast cancer. How did the cat “talk”? By, curling up around her breast and refusing to move. “Oggy has always loved to snuggle up in my arms but he began to snuggle more aggressively than usual which was odd,” the young woman said. “I would try and direct him someplace else, but he just wouldn’t have it.” Months later she started experiencing shooting pains through her body and was diagnosed with breast cancer.

I don’t doubt this woman’s cat had an idea something was seriously wrong. For sure, many of us ignore early warning signs of trouble. Or maybe we just don’t know what we are looking for. I sure didn’t. But for me it wasn’t just ignorance, it was willful ignorance. Five years ago, the nipple of my right breast inverted, the tip pointed down into my body, instead of out. But I wasn’t listening, I was busy with work, promoting a book I had written. And, I believe, at some level, I was deeply fearful of what might come next. The week after the book launched, I went to my primary care physician who sent me – immediately – to be tested.

I still remember telling her that the next week would be more convenient for me. Can’t we put off your life-saving methods for another time? What a dummy! I didn’t know how much I was rolling the dice until the diagnosis came back. Positive. Stage 3.

How do we get better at hearing our bodies talk? For sure, I’ve gotten better at doing what my doctors tell me when it comes to breast cancer. The possibility of recurrence, or worse, metastatic breast cancer scares me so much now that I always fit in the screening, besides I love collecting those letters every year from Memorial Sloan Kettering that say, “no evidence of disease.’’ But I’m far from perfect.

At the end of March, we added an adorable chocolate toy poodle named Rufus to our household. He is a joy, but I was so focused on his care that one by one I dropped every hard-won health habit I had developed. First to go was exercise, which I find essential because it allows me to check in with my body once a day, put it through its paces. If something isn’t right, I know. My super special breakfast, which takes a little longer to make than Wheaties, went down the tubes too. Vitamins? Heck no.

It amazed me how quickly I was back to a glass of wine every night or two, eating little solid food and not exercising at all. I’ve turned the corner (it’s a very familiar corner), but I was reminded once again how doing the hard thing is hard. Let’s take exercise. Deciding to exercise every day is a lot of work. You have to find your gym shoes, decide what you’re going to do (Run around the neighborhood again? Ugh.) What I do is take the decision making out of it.

The exercise clothes are laid out the night before. I use an app that tells me how to exercise. I play Spotify to make the process more fun. I go to our home gym (a generous term) first thing in the morning, so that I have very little time to figure out an excuse for not exercising. Finally, I require myself to be there for 30 minutes. Often, I exceed that because I get into the whole thing and forget the time, but for days I’m not in the mood, I know the pain will end shortly.

My strategy for keeping focused isn’t perfect. I miss things for sure.

I’d love to hear your strategy for staying focused on your personal health. Please share your thoughts and I will share with the community. In the meantime, I’m hoping Rufus is keeping his little doggy eye on me!